


Five Months

by Matrya



Category: House M.D.
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Everybody Dies, Future Fic, Future Tense, M/M, POV Second Person, Post-Finale, Suicide, Terminal Illness, and i keep telling myself that THAT is what matters, house and wilson after the finale, i like what i did here, i think you can probably guess wilson doesn't go into remission by the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 12:50:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18334766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matrya/pseuds/Matrya
Summary: You will not be the problem.Greg House handles the end of the world





	Five Months

**Author's Note:**

> I impulse wrote this while watching season one and drinking bourbon; you're welcome.

___one

You will not be the problem. You will _refuse_ to be the problem.

You will take his hand as you lie together and think how long it will have been and how long you will have left.

You will take his hand as it rests between you. You will take his hand at every staircase and stoop. You will take his hand as you peruse every other menu.

When a waitress thinks you his husband, you will be prepared to make an overzealous comment about your Jimmykins. He will take his hand from yours, instead.

He will look at the waitress and he will order for you both and she will not try to convince him that the Reuben needs the pickles – there is, of course, a first time for everything.

 

___two

When his face starts to get thinner, he will take your hand as you lie together. He will press his lips to the back of your wrist and ask absolutely nothing of you, for once. In your turn, you will squeeze his hand and ask absolutely nothing of him, either.

You will wonder what you could say, anyway. "Don't die because I don't know how to live without you," will seem repetitive and he will, slowly, be drowning either way. Maybe not drowning, but you will feel poetic and sentimental in short moments. They will pass, as all things do. As he will.

Both of you will hold yourselves to tight spaces and quiet moments between screaming roller coasters and crushed trucks. You will not count days but will track miles.

 

___three

He will cough and you will neither do nor say anything in response.

He will cough and it will stop you short at three months and counting, because it will stop him short in the doorway of a pharmacy.

He will cough and a waitress will give him a dirty look. You will give it right back and he will take your hand before you can spit words at her.

He will cough but he will not tell you he would like to be made comfortable. He will not say anything else he will want, with three months and counting already behind him.

You will share your pills. You will wonder it there will be enough for you.

 

___four

You will refuse to be the problem but you will be the problem, anyway.

He will repeat words you already denied and you will continue to deny them. "What good's that?" you will ask, at the height.

"You want me to die not knowing?" he will shoot back, barb-sharp.

"I don't want you to die at all," you will remind him. You will roll away. You will not think about the last twenty years. You will not scoff at him for not knowing.

You will make him comfortable when he will need it. You will do for him as he has always done for you. There will be a room, there will be an aged lady who does not approve, there will be quilts before the September heat has waned.

You will hold a glass to his lips, you will watch him swallow, you will wonder if there will be enough left for you.

In all, however, you will not say it.

You will not let him out of it this easily.

 

___five

A patient told you, one time, that you were a detective more than a doctor. It will come to you when you are looking for the right way to do this.

He will need you to tell him you love him and you will stop looking for a way out of it. You will say it, quiet as can be, but you will say it.

You will take his hand and you will say it when he is gone to the world but not quite gone, yet.

You will say it in his hair, at his ear, at his lips.

His grip will be weak but it will be, nonetheless, and he will say it in his turn.

In the golden hour, you will hold the glass to his lips, you will watch him swallow, you will hope there is enough for you.

As the sunlight dims, as he wanes, you will rattle the bottle and he will say nothing because he will be as good as gone, already.

 

___one (again)

There will be something, after. It will be long and excruciating. You will not be certain if it is a chemical reaction in the brain.

However.

You will wonder who will be there, will anyone be there, is there nothing. You will be the ever-present trait:  _curious_.

You will not ever see the man who never was your father. You will not see lives you lost.

From a distance, through a haze, in a memory, you will see a fellow.

If it ever happens, you will search instead of moving toward that fellow. You will search for something.

The longer you search, the less you will know.

You will, you know, know it when you see it.

If you ever will.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I wrote Hilson fic. After reading this, probably no one else believes I wrote Hilson fic either.
> 
> This was supposed to be a fic about Wilson being in the closet, but I failed. The 5+1 is "five times House made Wilson his world and one time he didn't".


End file.
